I had this whole blogging thing down and then Mr. Juris Doctor and I bought a condo and started remodeling it. And by that I’ve been pretty much handling most of it while he is at the office. The result is that my my adulting capacities have been maxed out and every day has been a bit like this couple: fleeting joy crushed by the icy cold waves of terror and helplessness tossing me around like a ragdoll…
Wheee! Our first guest post, brought to you by reader Zia who wanted to share her adulting tips on skin care. As you will see, she’s a fabulous writer. So…hopefully you’ll see more from her soon. Do you want to write a guest post? Just drop me a line!
Think back to the eons ago when you first started something of a skin care regimen. How did you decide what products to use?
For me, it was a Noxzema commercial. Remember Noxzema? (Surprisingly still a thing). I saw those older girls with their gorgeous complexions cruising in convertibles and being cool and talking to boys with confidence. Sold.
I probably read somewhere that cleanser wasn’t enough to really clean skin and you had to follow up with an astringent. So, I started using Sea Breeze.
Noxzema and Sea Breeze. Lawd have mercy I am dating myself.
Human anatomy and I have always butted heads. I am entirely made up of bits and pieces that I want to know nothing about because they’re ugly, gross, messy, confusing and most especially frustrating because they don’t do what they’re supposed to and often break down on me.
This attitude has worked great for me because our society promotes this way of thinking. We love to focus on the most superficial parts and solutions. Don’t ask why you’re overweight, breaking out, not sleeping, feeling depressed, having chronic pain. Don’t ask what the pill, drink, workout routine, detox program is doing. Just do it and carry on. And if you can, try to look great while pulling it all off.
As adults, we have to get shit done. Because, like it or not, if we don’t do it, it won’t happen. And the consequences for not doing things are for realsies. If you don’t feed your cat, get groceries, pay the heating bill…well, you get it.
The problem is, getting stuff done is the worst.
But you have to get stuff done.
But it’s the worst.
So how do you reconcile these seemingly irreconcilable differences?
For many of us, holidays can be a difficult, triggering, emotional, time. So as we enter this landmind of a season, I would like to send you all a very important adulting PSA.
This is true always, but there is something particularly sinister about the holidays that can make us forget that fact. Traditions, expectations, old patterns, family dynamics can make for a real boundary busting experience. But here are a few of the things that you, as an adult, DO NOT HAVE TO DO.
You don’t have to:
Go somewhere you don’t want to go
Stay somewhere you don’t want to stay
Kiss, hug, touch someone you don’t want to
Eat something you don’t want to
Talk to someone you don’t want to
Engage in a topic you don’t want to discuss
Hide who you are
Pretend to be someone else
Take on any expectations from people around you
Spend money you don’t have
Feel guilty for not doing the things you don’t want to do
That might not be what you’ve been taught but it is the truth. It is your adulting truth. You deserve to have boundaries and to take care of yourself.
Of course, you’ll notice that “be nice” wasn’t on the list. You can have boundaries without being a jerk. You can excuse yourself, disengage, decline without being aggressive, mean spirited or angry. Others might not respond in kind – people hate it when you set boundaries – but guess what? You don’t have to put up with it. Hooray for being an adult!
Ok, here we go and Happy Thanksgiving from the U.S.!
The other day, I was going through some of my files and I realized I had pay stubs from over a decade ago. I flipped through them thinking why the bleep did I keep these?
But then, as I continued to look at them, I felt a flutter in my chest that reminded me why. They were paystubs from my first real, adult job. Those stubs reminded me of my independence, my strength, my naivete, my beginning.
It was as if those stupid stubs were looking up at me like:
and saying “No, don’t throw us away. We’re an important piece of your history!”