I had this whole blogging thing down and then Mr. Juris Doctor and I bought a condo and started remodeling it. And by that I’ve been pretty much handling most of it while he is at the office. The result is that my my adulting capacities have been maxed out and every day has been a bit like this couple: fleeting joy crushed by the icy cold waves of terror and helplessness tossing me around like a ragdoll…
For many of us, holidays can be a difficult, triggering, emotional, time. So as we enter this landmind of a season, I would like to send you all a very important adulting PSA.
This is true always, but there is something particularly sinister about the holidays that can make us forget that fact. Traditions, expectations, old patterns, family dynamics can make for a real boundary busting experience. But here are a few of the things that you, as an adult, DO NOT HAVE TO DO.
You don’t have to:
Go somewhere you don’t want to go
Stay somewhere you don’t want to stay
Kiss, hug, touch someone you don’t want to
Eat something you don’t want to
Talk to someone you don’t want to
Engage in a topic you don’t want to discuss
Hide who you are
Pretend to be someone else
Take on any expectations from people around you
Spend money you don’t have
Feel guilty for not doing the things you don’t want to do
That might not be what you’ve been taught but it is the truth. It is your adulting truth. You deserve to have boundaries and to take care of yourself.
Of course, you’ll notice that “be nice” wasn’t on the list. You can have boundaries without being a jerk. You can excuse yourself, disengage, decline without being aggressive, mean spirited or angry. Others might not respond in kind – people hate it when you set boundaries – but guess what? You don’t have to put up with it. Hooray for being an adult!
Ok, here we go and Happy Thanksgiving from the U.S.!
“Ughhhhhhhhhhh.” This is me last week, talking with a friend about the state of our country. “What we need is a revolution,”
“There’s one happening right now!” he said.
He’s right. I was going to write about blowdryers. But there is a revolution happening and I want to talk about it, so blowdryers will just have to wait.
This period we’re in is simultaneously beautiful and horrifying. For a potentially brief moment, victims have a voice and sexual predators are being brought to light. It’s a momentous, revolutionary time. But…
Yeah. Don’t get comfortable just yet. There’s a few things I really want us to think about.
As I write, it is dreary out and my sun lamp is going full blast.
So here’s my story…
In June, I quit my job of 6 years. What had once been a fun, stable, learning, growing, environment started to crumble around year 2. The charismatic, big-picture boss left and his neurotic, emotional, misogynist underling (let’s call him Mr. Potbelly) was promoted. He, in turn, hired a passive aggressive nightmare (let’s call her Ms. Greasy Hair) for his replacement.
Today’s post is inspired by the ENDLESS row of soupy, mucky, cloudy days we’ve been having and DGGYST’s post encouraging us all to get our shit together and prepare for winter.
The days have been getting shorter and shorter and then, because we’re one of the states still functioning like a farming society, we set our clocks back an hour. So now I truly feel like I am living in darkness. And since then, I’ve just been feeling like this:
Not just physically but mentally. I am flat out of steam and I feel like everything around me is just…heavy.
It’s interesting, because this gif was titled “Lazy Polar Bear.” I hate that word – lazy. Yes, some people are lazy. But depression is often mislabled as laziness.
If you’ve started to feel “lazy” as the days are getting shorter, then maybe you’re experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder.
As I was just beginning what I consider to be the real start of my adulting process, I discovered yoga. I had done yoga before, many times, and enjoyed it. But now I had discovered it. It began to feed me physically and spiritually and jettisoned my healing forward at incredible speed.
After about a year of some hot and heavy yoga, I decided it was time to advance my practice and go to yoga teacher training.
I wasn’t there very long before I noticed this painful twinge on the right side of my low back. In the yoga community, “yoga is my medicine” is an annoyingly common phrase. So I figured, I would continue my practice and allow yoga to heal my body.